How to Summon Your Very Own Moon Goddess
by PhaedoSymposium
Summary: This is a short story I made out of joke that wouldn't go away in my head. It basically has no main character but it made me and my friends chuckle. Hope it will for you too. Also it is my first endeavor into the wild and wacky world of creative writing.


This is basically my first time doing creative writing of any kind, It's probably hot garbage. However, if you would like to take the time to tell me that it's hot garbage in the form of a review it would be very appreciated. Really anything even a "this sucks" would do. Really all i'm shooting for with this attempt is funny hot garbage so hopefully it delivers on those low expectations.

Also this is basically a scene from something I have been kicking around and may incorporate into a larger work later. As a result it really doesn't have any characters or anything other than artemis it all sort of spawned from a joke that popped into my head when I was bored at work. I do have a story I am thinking about doing with an incredibly obscure roman god that might be cool or garbage still trying to figure it out.

Disclaimer: I don't think that disclaimers do anything unless I were to name my account "real_RickRiordan" or some such.

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I looked up to the sky as I was getting chased though the woods by a hell hound. I knew I had no chance to get away. I could call out but no one was around to hear me. What a way to die! Alone with only the moon and the wilderness to keep my company, I morbidly wondered if my remains would get eaten by a wolf, or if the hell hound would eat me whole. Wait, That's it! The moon the wild the hunt. I am in Artemis's domain! All I just need to her attention if she shows up the hell hound will surely run the other way until it hits coastline.

Also, not get killed by her immediately. My voice of reason in my head countered.

I pushed that thought to the side I would cross that bridge when I got there I was about to be dogfood if I did nothing. Sadly, my only idea for getting Artemis's attention basically guaranteed I wouldn't last much longer than I would if I took my chances with the hellhound.

Probably be less painful too, unless you like being a jackelope. My voice of reason countered back.

I was unceremoniously removed from my thoughts of how my new life as a jackelope would be by the sounds of a hellhound snapping at my heels.

I kicked back and was rewarded with a whimper from the hell hound. This gave me precious few seconds of reprieve.

I burst into the clearing and gathered my breath I only have one shot at this, better ruin it as spectacularly as I can. I gave the full moon my most lecherous look and shouted the summoning ritual.

"You know I never really looked before, but on a night like this all I have to say is DANG GIRL YOU GOT CURVE!" I paused for a breath while I bit back the pi joke, "You know how they say that the moon is made of cheese, well they might be right BECAUSE YOU JUST GET FINER AND FINER WITH AGE!" I had to hold back a snicker at that one. "You know what else is full of cheese? My D-"

I was immediately cut off by the flash of silver light my back, Also the rolling waves of power and seething anger were a tip off I guess. If I had to guess without looking I would bet there was an enraged moon goddess pointing an arrow pointed at my unmentionables behind me. I had to resist the urge to cheer at the whimpering sound as the hell hound ran off.

"Before I kill you for insulting me in my domain I feel the need to ask why you were so brazen, do you have a death wish boy?" Artemis sneered

"Would you believe I was being chased by a hell hound without a weapon and that your brother convinced me that it as an ancient summoning ritual for you?" I queried, without turning around.

"no," She replied flatly.

"Well then I guess I just had a death wish," I stated in a tone I hoped sounded sincere.

"Quite," She quipped in return.

"Out of the frying pan and into the fire then I suppose," and dashed off spinning at the last second to dodge the arrow. At least I wasn't being chased by a hell hound now.

How do I get myself in these situations, I mused? It is most certainly not my fault!

Maybe I was a professional mirror smashing black cat wrangler in a past life. Ah well, must just be unlucky wouldn't do to spend too much time thinking about it and get murdered by Artemis would it? I'm sure my next plan will work out better.


End file.
